Healthcare Valentines written by OpenAI and me.

Sorry, not sorry.

If you skip one Inside Medicine this year, let it be this one. That said, let’s have some fun.

I asked OpenAI (the powerful artificial intelligence workspace that I tend to prefer over ChatGPT) to write some healthcare/policy Valentine’s Day poems.

With some editing, here’s what the bot and I came up with…

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Prompt: Write me a Valentine’s Day poem about people cherry-picking data to confirm their own biases:

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

People cherry-pick data,

To confirm their bias too.

Prompt: Not bad. Write me another one:

Lies are false,

Truths are true,

People find data,

To confirm what they knew.

Oooh, I like that one!

Prompt: Write me a Valentine’s Day poem about how we are not ready for another pandemic:

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

We're not prepared for the next pandemic,

What will we do?

Prompt: Write me a Valentine’s Day poem about there being no more Covid monoclonal antibodies that work, and that we need to get new ones:

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

No more Covid monoclonals!

Can we get one that's new?

Prompt: Write me a Valentine’s Day poem about the end of the Covid public health emergency actually might cause some other issues:

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

The end of the Covid emergency,

may cause problems, boo.

Ok, I admit I rewrote that last line on that one.

Prompt: Write me a Valentine’s Day poem about insurance companies loving money more than they love helping patients.

Lies are false,

Truths are real,

Insurance companies prefer money,

Over patients to heal.

Ouch. That one hurts because it’s true.

Prompt: Limerick time! Write me a Valentine's Day Limerick about Paxlovid being underused by those at high risk, and overused by the worried well:

For those at risk, Paxlovid is best.

But those who are not, should instead take a rest.

For the worried well,

It's a superstitious spell,

That offers no protection at best!

I’ve heard better Limericks, but it got the point across.

Prompt: Write me a Valentine's Day poem explaining Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy (i.e., Broken Heart Syndrome):

Takotsubo’s a condition that's rare.

It's triggered by stress and despair.

Sadness can break your heart,

Life imitates art,

If you suspect that you have it, seek care!

(That one I really had to edit that one heavily. OpenAI was having none of it).

Lastly, I asked OpenAI to write a poem about how staying healthy is a team sport/group effort and that nobody can truly do it alone. I tried about 5 different prompts and nothing good came out. It kept mentioning insurance companies and money (rhyming nurses and purses, weirdly enough).

So I gave up and wrote this one myself, without AI help:

Roses are red

Violets are blue

It takes a village to make

A healthier you!

Don’t worry, I’m not quitting my day job. Have a great day!

I’ll be back with more “important stuff” tomorrow.